I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
