I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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