she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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