haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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