I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize