oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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