let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this just has baby written all over it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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