He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize