Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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