this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
