Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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