nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
