why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
