According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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