I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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