I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
