the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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