but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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