You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Terrible idea I love it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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