Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
