That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize