At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
