You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
