You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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