Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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