Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
