I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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