Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
