Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
