Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize