you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I want a musical about memes.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
