and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
