Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
