You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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