just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
