If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
