I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
