I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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