i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
