apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
