When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
