The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
