how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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