Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
