So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize