I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
