We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
