The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
