you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
