After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
