help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
