So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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