i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
