So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
