wat bout pragnant strippers??
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
