I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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