HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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