Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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